The Meaning and Importance of “Give It Away To Keep It”

One of the core concepts in recovery is the idea that to “keep it,” we’ve got to “give it away.” Just what do we mean by “give it away to keep it,” and why is the concept of service to others so strongly emphasized in recovery?

Give it away to keep it is a saying in recovery that implies we won’t be able to succeed in long-term recovery unless we can freely give away what we’ve received in recovery. Helping others along their journey allows us to step out of our own struggles long enough to find relief and have a spiritual experience.

In this article, we’ll talk more about what this phrase means, where it comes from, and why it works so well.

What’s the point of “giving it away?”

Most people don’t enter recovery thinking about helping others. In fact, early sobriety is often focused on survival—figuring out how to get through the day without using, repairing relationships, and stabilizing emotions.

This is exactly why giving it away is so important.

When you support others in recovery, you:

• Shift attention away from obsessive thoughts about your own struggles, and
• Deepen your understanding of the tools and principles that keep you sober

Paradoxically, helping others doesn’t distract from your recovery; it simply distracts us from the self-centered tendencies that keep us stuck.

The “Actor Scenario”

In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 60-63 are some of the most well-known pages, often called the “Actor Scenario”. Towards the end of this section, one of the most often quoted recovery passages can be found:

“Our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so.”

The passage goes on to say:

“We alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us.”

This is the reason that we must give it away, if we want to keep it: Giving freely back to others reverses our self-centered tendencies and frees up space within our minds to find joy, relief, and spirituality. In other words, it’s not enough to be honest, attend meetings, and have a good time while staying sober. We must deliberately work to be rid of our self-centeredness, day to day.

What are you actually giving away?

“Giving it away” is generally a reference to giving away the experience, strength, and hope that was given to us freely by our recovery support groups when we first showed up.

Most of us were given:

• Time
• Experience
• A listening ear
• Friendship & fun
• Perhaps rides to and from meetings
• Much more!

So, when we say “giving back,” we’re talking about giving back the gifts of recovery and experience that we have received. The simplest way to do this is to spend time with newcomers in the meetings you attend, listen to their stories, spend time with them, get their phone numbers, and check in on them!

Remember how intimidated you were upon first entering recovery – this is how newcomers feel currently!

You might give your time by listening to someone who’s struggling. You might share your story honestly, including mistakes and breakthroughs. You might offer encouragement when someone feels hopeless or unsure if change is possible.

In many cases, what you’re really giving away is perspective. By showing that recovery is imperfect, ongoing, and real, you help others feel less alone. At the same time, you remind yourself why your own journey matters.

Do you need a certain amount of sobriety to give back?

A common question in recovery is whether you need years of sobriety before you can help others. The short answer is no.

We often tell newcomers: If you’ve got a week, you can give back to someone with a day. If you’ve got 30 days, you can give back to someone with a week, and so on.

You don’t have to be an expert or have everything figured out. In reality, none of us actually have it “figured out.”

Even early in recovery, you can contribute by showing up, being honest, and supporting others in simple ways. Sometimes the most relatable voice is someone who’s still learning and growing.

Why it’s easier to see growth in others than in yourself

One near-universal truth in recovery is that it’s easier to recognize progress in others than in themselves. You might clearly see someone else’s potential, resilience, or improvement while minimizing your own achievements.

Supporting others can shift that perspective. When you encourage someone else, you often hear your own words differently. You start to recognize that the advice and hope you offer others also apply to you.

Recovery is not a solo effort. It’s built on shared experience, mutual support, and collective growth. From the people who facilitate groups to those who quietly check in on newcomers, the entire process is sustained by individuals who choose to give back in small but meaningful ways.

Practical ways to give it away in everyday life

Giving it away doesn’t require perfection or constant effort. It simply means looking for opportunities to contribute rather than withdraw.

Some realistic ways to practice this idea include:

• Sharing your experiences honestly in conversations or group settings
• Checking in on someone who seems isolated or discouraged
• Offering encouragement instead of judgment
• Participating in recovery-related activities or community events
• Being willing to listen without trying to fix everything

These actions don’t just help others—they reshape how you experience your own recovery. Over time, many people find that their sense of purpose grows alongside their sobriety.

Recognizing the role others played in your recovery

It’s easy to forget that the support you received from others was also an act of giving back. Mentors, peers, friends, and family members often shared their time, patience, and wisdom long before you were ready to do the same.

When you look back, you may realize that their guidance wasn’t just helpful—it was transformative. They passed on insights and encouragement that they themselves once received from others.

Understanding this cycle can change how you view recovery. It’s not just about staying sober; it’s about participating in something larger than yourself. Each person who gives back helps sustain a culture of support that makes long-term recovery possible.

The deeper meaning of giving it away to keep it

Ultimately, giving it away to keep it isn’t a rule or obligation.

Once we adopt service and giving back to others as a way of life, we begin to see it as something that grows when it’s shared. By contributing to others’ journeys, you strengthen your own sense of purpose, connection, and resilience.

For many people, this shift marks a turning point. Recovery stops feeling like something you’re fighting to maintain and starts feeling like something you’re building—together with others who understand the path.

Over time, what you give away doesn’t diminish your recovery. It becomes one of the very reasons it lasts.