Another year is coming to an end. For many people 2017 was an emotional rollercoaster. If you happened to enter into a recovery program this year you certainly know what I mean. Drug and alcohol abuse tears families apart with unrelenting voracity. The healing process can be unpredictable and painful. However, as sobriety takes hold emotions start to calm and a new perspective takes shape. Finally, those who have experienced tremendous fear, anger, and anxiety can begin to be grateful for a new lease on life.
Gratitude Is An Attitude
In recovery programs it is common to hear people talk about “an attitude of gratitude.” This generally
means that those who are affected by addictions of any kind tend to have a pessimistic and hopeless outlook. A change in thinking can begin to
melt away the negativity that keeps people stuck in destructive patterns. When someone is a
ble to take a step back and be grateful for a new opportunity to change,hope is reinforced. A family in crisis desperately needs to see the possibility for life to improve. There are simple ways to begin to shift into an attitude of gratitude.
A Simple Exercise
One way to begin to shift into gratitude is to start focusing on it. For example, take five minutes every day to write five aspects of life for which to be grateful. This gratitude list can be something to look forward to each day that can have a significant impact on someone’s way of thinking. The person focused on gratitude will seek more situations to build the list. It certainly accomplishes more to think about what is good rather than to obsess over all that is wrong. Granted, we need to be aware of problems in order to find solutions. Denial is never healthy. But think about how much easier it is to remember what is wrong. Coming up with a list of items that elicit a feeling of gratitude may require some effort but it is certainly worth it.
On behalf of the entire staff at Insight I would like to wish you and your family a blessed 2018! Merry Christmas and have a wonderful New Year.
In 12 step recovery from drug and alcohol abuse the first step involves a willingness to admit powerlessness and unmanageability. The addict or alcoholic must understand that when abusing drugs and alcohol he loses control of the ability to make sound decisions and move in a positive direction in life. He must also accept that the major problems he is experiencing come as the result of getting high and drinking. No matter how much counseling or therapy an addict or alcoholic receives, he will not change until his drug or alcohol abuse is addressed and he is abstinent. Most parents or spouses of addicts and alcoholics understand this. What can be confusing is when someone says, “Now you need to work a program too!” Why would a parent or spouse need 12 step recovery?
What? I’m Not The One With The Problem
As soon as the chemical abusing a**hole gets sober the family becomes eternally blissful and all problems just melt away. Oh, if it could be that simple. Unfortunately, as anyone who loves an addict or alcoholic knows, this is literally never the case. Undoubtedly, sobriety provides the first opportunity to repair the family. But just as the addict’s recovery really starts post abstinence, the family’s issues come into the spotlight as well. When approached with the idea of working a 12 step recovery program most parents respond with a version of “I’m not the one with the problem.” Upon further investigation a loved one of an addict will inevitably come to the conclusion that fear, anger, and guilt have created a fair amount of insanity. With this awareness comes the opportunity to create real healing for wounds caused by years of living in distress.
Families enter 12 step recovery beaten, battered, and scarred. It is difficult to find hope that life will really ever get better. As soon as a parent or loved one of an addict is able to surrender to the idea that continuing along the path they have been on will only result in more pain, recovery begins. From this point the family member of the addict is able to change course and focus on her own happiness and peace of mind. Through the discovery of a Higher Power and an honest and thorough look at patterns that have caused disruption, transformation begins. The process isn’t complicated. It simply requires the courage to ask for help.