August has arrived which means school has either started or is right around the corner. For familieswho are new in recovery, this can be very challenging. Some parents desperately want life to be “normal” and the newly sober young person is terrified by the idea of facing old friends and other social situations.These can be daunting circumstances for anyone to handle, much less someone trying to develop a whole new set of coping mechanisms. There is tremendous pressure on everyone. This is a good opportunity to take a longer view. Eventually the family will settle into this new way of life and everyone will be more secure. Facing a drug or alcohol abuse issue opens the door to having a healthier perspective and having a different set of priorities.
Recovery Is A Marathon
Long term recovery is contingent on an addict or alcoholic learning to live on life’s terms. This means reintegrating into “normal” life responsibilities. School, work, and healthy relationships are important for addicts and alcoholics in recovery. However, in order to have success the drug abuser must put “first things first.” This means that recovery has to be the top priority. Parents must remember that for an addict or alcoholic, drugs and alcohol are all encompassing. Substance abuse touches all areas of life. Gaining the maturity to make better life decisions takes time. Over the long haul, relationships within the family need to heal. School, work, and other important activities will fall into proper place in due time.
Some Simple Suggestions
Whether new to recovery or not, it is good to be reminded of some basic tools. Some examples include:
Manage expectations. Everyone has expectations but it is vital to expect what a person is actually capable of doing
Seek Outside Help. It is never a bad idea to seek advice from someone who isn’t involved in the family’s situation
Stay On The Same Page A recovering addict needs stability. If there are conflicting messages this can lead to unnecessary insecurity
There are many other useful tools available. Finding the right support is a key element in recovery. Contact other parents or a counselor for suggestions.
When an addict or alcoholic enters recovery it may take a few days, or in some cases weeks, for the dust to settle. Once the initial crisis that leads an individual into treatment subsides, the challenge really begins. For the person in recovery, there can be a feeling of hopelessness due to becoming aware of the damage that has been created. For a family member or loved one, it is normal at this stage for anger to come to the surface. This is the point at which recovery tools become a high priority. Without a new manner of coping, an addict may resort to using drugs and/or alcohol again. A loved one is likely to try and control the behavior of the person in need of help. This stage of recovery is scary but with some awareness deep levels of sabotage can be averted.
Ride the Pink Cloud
When a person enters treatment everyone involved breathes a sigh of relief. Even when someone starts their sobriety reluctantly, physical abstinence usually allows for a degree of relief. Early recovery is usually the first time in a long time that a loved one, especially a parent, has had any sense of solace. This period of time is sometimes described as “the pink cloud.” This break from the insanity of addiction should be welcomed. This is also a good time to start implementing aspects of the 12 steps. Once the pink cloud subsides, it is vital to have a safety net of support. This is created by forming relationships with other people on a similar journey and by developing a basic connection with a Higher Power.
It Is a Rollercoaster
There are definitely lots of ups and downs in early sobriety. It is never a smooth ride. There is a lot to learn and many issues of which to become aware. It is not abnormal to feel a bit overwhelmed. Don’t take temporary for permanent. As scary as the journey up the hill can be, it is exhilarating to rush down hill and discover what is around the corner. If everyone involved stays engaged in a personal program there is endless joy that awaits. There will be ups and downs but the adventure will always be rewarding.