Early recovery brings up a number of new challenges. For a newly sober person the holiday season can be particularly difficult. Not only is it hard for the addict, the rest of the family is in a troublesome position as well. Issues include everything from what to do with alcohol in the home to whether or not going out of town to visit relatives is a good idea. There is no blanket solution because every family’s situation is different. However for a young person in the early stages of recovery there are some suggestions that may help. Let’s start with a few simple questions:
How long has the young person been sober?
Will there be a lot of alcohol at the family event?
Will there be people at the event that the young person has used drugs with?
What Can I Do?
One of the primary objectives in recovery is to get to the point of being able to navigate challenging social situations. It isn’t realistic to believe that one can go through life never being around alcohol or other temptations. However, a young person in early sobriety is particularly vulnerable because there is little confidence in the sober lifestyle and holidays can bring heightened expectations for everyone. This pressure can be too much for an emotionally unstable newly sober teenager. For a parent of a young person in this situation it is vital to not take temporary for permanent. It will not always be this way. For the first sober holiday season here are some ideas that can help:
If a large family event is unavoidable, have a way for the young person to be able to leave
Make the family event alcohol free
Consider hosting others who may need a sober environment
These are just a couple of ideas and the best suggestion is to seek guidance from others who have been in a similar situation before. The priority is for the person in early recovery to have the best opportunity to stay sober through the holidays and for the entire family to enjoy this special time together. Every emotionally challenging situation a sober young person is able to face, the stronger his or her recovery will be. Have a wonderful holiday season and enjoy your family!
August and September can be interesting months in the adolescent substance abuse treatment field. Vacations are wrapping up, school is starting, and many families are trying to navigate the stress and anxiety attached to attempts at motivating teenagers. This is the time of year that parents of substance abusing young people pray their children will go back to school and turn over a new leaf. In fact, numerous young people will make empty promises to their parents that real change is on the horizon. “This school year will be different!” they say. When dealing with a child who is abusing drugs and alcohol, parents must understand that the abuser will say almost anything to not have to stop using. Unfortunately, the commitment to academic excellence is the biggest weapon in a teenagers manipulation arsenal. Parents desperately hope their child will go back to school and be “normal.”
The False Security of School
“He/she must really be bothered by seeing everyone go back to school.” This statement is normal for parents in denial. These parents are desperately clinging to the idea that their child places the same value on school. In reality, it is the parents who feel the blow to their self worth. They believe they have failed as parents. They are convinced that somehow they have done something wrong. For a young person in the midst of addiction, education has zero priority. The motivation to learn will come but it will be later in the recovery process. If the first priority is not abstinence the chances of a young drug abuser staying sober are very slim. One of the primary goals of substance abuse recovery is for the young person to get back on track. However, timing is critical.
Don’t Put the Cart Before The Horse
If a young person is suffering from a substance abuse issue, very little will change until he or she is sober. Once the fog of drugs and alcohol has cleared, the addict will start to think about aspects of life that have been compromised by drug use. Once this happens it may still take a significant amount of time to make progress in these areas of life. It is very important for parents to let go of what others may think or how they will be judged. What matters at this point is the young person’s sobriety and the relationship between the parent and child. There will be plenty of time to resolve education issues and become more “mainstream.”
Substance abuse treatment for young people is full of different philosophies. New innovations come up on a regular basis. In spite of this constant pursuit of a better way, effective substance abusetreatment for young people usually comes back to some simple techniques. Problems surrounding substance abuse treatment for adolescents include:
a misunderstanding of the pressure young people feel
a lack of alternatives to the drug and alcohol subculture
failure to address the whole family
a lack of follow-up and aftercare
There is no perfect approach for all young people but there are some key elements a parent can look at regarding a program under consideration.
1. Who Is Being Served?
One issue often forgotten is that an adolescent does not think like an adult. An adult who has been abusing drugs and/or alcohol for several years has suffered a number of consequences . This person has to realize in a clear way the gravity of the problem and must have a depth of willingness to change that an adolescent isn’t capable of reaching. A young person needs to simply recognize the aspects of his life that have been directly harmed by drug/alcohol abuse.
2. What Is the Motivation
When reaching young people the carrot is almost always a better motivator than the stick. This isn’t to say that one must be permissive when counseling a teenager but a young person needs something to look forward to. Adults are often tricked into believing a substance abusing adolescent can be “scared straight.” Any young person abusing drugs and alcohol is desensitized to this kind of tactic. It never works.
3. It Better Be Real
One of the keys to helping teenagers with drug problems is to meet them where they are. When an adult tries to act like a teenager it comes off as non-authentic and condescending. Talk to a young person as a first class citizen. When seeking help make sure the counselor or therapist really understands adolescent substance abuse. It is very easy to mistake a drug and alcohol problem for a serious psychological disorder. If a young person is abusing drugs and alcohol the substance abuse issue has to be dealt with first.
Substance abuse allows a young person to feel accepted, provides a social outlet, and provides a coping mechanism. If recovery doesn’t involve an element of peer support, real social options, and better tools to deal with feelings the chances of it working are slim. Beware of anyone who promises quick vocational, educational, or disciplinarian solutions. Horses will not help a young person stay sober nor will massages, yoga, or diets. Recovery is not fast and easy.It takes time for an individual and a family to heal.
Teen drug abuse continues to be a tremendous problem in our country. Although the substances young people abuse change, the plague of addiction is the same as it has been for decades. No matter how people try to solve this issue it continues to grow. There is no simple answer as to why this scourge remains but there are some simple steps people can take to provide young people with some alternatives.
Remember The Angst Of Adolescence
Most young people can’t wait to become adults. In the mind of a teenager this is the time in life when there are no longer any restrictions. Unfortunately, in society today many teens are expected to act as adults before they are truly capable. Rather than adolescence being a time in life when a person can make mistakes and learn from them, in the age of “zero tolerance” and increased isolation, young people are often left to fend for themselves. At some point almost every teenager will have to face the temptation of drugs and alcohol. It is impossible to predict who will wind up with a serious problem but there are certain factors that increase the odds.
Be Available And Listen
Most of how a person views the world starts at home. Throughout childhood and adolescence other factors start to influence how someone thinks but the foundation is laid early on. In substance abuse treatment the person with a strong emotional footing is more likely to grasp a program of recovery quickly. People that grew up around a lot of dysfunction, instability, or spent very little time with positive family members will have a more difficult time connecting with basic concepts common in treatment. At this point figuring out “why” a teenager has a drug problem is far less important than having a stable and secure environment in which to heal. Most teenagers thrive on friendship, security, and (most importantly) fun. Often what they need more than anything else is to be listened to. An easy response to adolescent substance abuse doesn’t exist but society can make a difference with a shift in attitude.